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This has been a difficult week for me. My Grandfather passed on Thursday morning. While for myself I see this as the end of a long, good life, full of compassion, love, and dedication to his family, for my family, particularly my father with whom I am very close, this has been a tremendous blow. I have, as the eldest son, made every effort I can to help my family through this. I spent the past days almost completely employed in being there for my father. I have been working to keep him busy and occupied. We spend hours talking, mostly about his father and mother, about what it was like to grow up with such a man as a family patriarch. For my father and I, this has strengthened our relationship as well. Still it is a time of long thoughts, and togetherness for us. In this, I have been almost completely engaged.

My grandfather was born in 1911. His name, Ruel Herbert Knudson, was passed down in part to my father, Ruel Kevin Knudson, of which I inherited that full name. I, in turn, kept the name going by naming my first born son Ruel as well. It was important for me to continue this to honor my grandfather. He was a strong man, what my wife describes as a gentleman’s man. He had class, and presence. He was a man define by his determination and loyalty to his family and friends. He was the type that you knew you could turn to, for the menial and the large. He had the wisdom borne of long life, but more so of a man who sees each action as a sort of definition to yourself. With a single look or word he could pass judgment on you, but you never felt that he ever imposed it. You could know that he either thought that what you were either acting as a man or not, or with humanity.

I learned how to be a man from my father. He learned it from his father. We all have a sense that above all else, the right thing must be done. You do not let yourself be bullied or your choices are anything other than your own. More so, however, it was my grandfather that set the standard for me of what a man should be. From his example I strive to live up to my namesake. I want my son to carry that name, knowing full well that this name, we carry it, but we must earn it. It is not our name, but his.

I love my grandfather. I will miss him, but it was time for him. His wife passed on about 24 years ago when I was only about 8 years old, and quite frankly I think he has gone on for so long only because I think his children and his family needed him. He refused to give in. But time claims us all. He is now reunited with the love of his life. Together, they are with us, so I do not miss him as much as some would I guess. I feel that he has passed on, but not away. For the rest of us, we must continue to live. For my father, myself, and my son, we must always live up to his name, and do that in honor of this great man, who everyone he touched loved him as a brother, father, and grandfather. He was that kind of man.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 9:59 am and is filed under Developer Blog, Personal Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.