I recently finished watching a documentary titled “Second Skin” (its streaming on Netflix so you can watch it online if you have Netflix). It was a pretty well made take on how social gaming has taken root in our culture. It dealt primarily with MMOs such as World of Warcraft and Everquest, but has some surprising relevancy across a greater spectrum. What I took from it was not new to me, but I would say my idea on the subject is a bit sharper for watching it.
There were several points in the piece that stuck with me pretty strongly. The first was a woman who lost her son to suicide. She found him dead at his computer with an MMO still playing on the screen. The second is the general group of MMO players represented as being a huge part of their lives and how they generally look like caricature gamers. In essence, pathetic social weirdoes that latch onto something not real. The last is how these games have actually benefitted people with disabilities who can enter these worlds and be something more fantastic than normal which is the absolute opposite of their reality.
My first topic will address the woman that lost her son and became an anti-gaming activist, even forming a kind of 12 step program to tackle it and try to “cure” addicts. First of all, the woman is not a psychiatrist or otherwise qualified to run such a program. She basically ripped off another 12 step program (AA) and started to try. While I don’t fault her for trying to do something, I do fault her motives. Something like this happened back at the birth of the PnPRPG hobby when a mother blamed her son’s suicide on D&D and started a Christian advocacy campaign against these games. The big problem is that people actually believe the games are the problem. The woman took her son to a psychiatrist who diagnosed depression disorders. The woman read these and basically took away from it what she wanted: gamers are depressed, because they play games, i.e. games are the cause. While I do believe that gaming was an issue with these people, it is not the issue. It is a symptom, much like drug abuse or drinking can be a symptom to a greater problem. These people looked towards gaming as an escape. Which brings me to a position where I think saying gaming as an escape is not healthy (rather keep it as entertainment) because if you are escaping from problems in reality one must first change their reality. Take ownership of it. Not run away to a bottle, a pipe or needle, or a game. In general, the woman misplaced her blame. She should be pointing to herself and her son. While the entire episode is sad, if she had been more open to looking at a wider spectrum of problems, instead of blaming the games she didn’t like or understand, her son may have gotten the help he needed and may be alive today.
The simple point is that if you are shutting off to play games, be them RPGs, MMOs, or even Farmville or Facebook, you are escaping reality to avoid your problems. Any AA support group will tell you that this only makes things worse. If you are playing for more hours than you actually live life, or you are so involved that the reality in a game is preferable to actual reality, then there is a bigger problem going on. And yes, this goes for you PnP Gamers as well.
This brings me to those people who do have real problems existing in reality. One person on the documentary was confined to a motorized chair, could not speak, and had only partial motor control in one arm. He prefers the reality of an MMO because he can run, climb, jump, even speak. In the virtual world he is not a victim of his disabilty. Now, some people with disabilities might get angry at this statement, but let me continue. I have a daughter with a disability, but she is in no way disabled from life. She walks with crutches and is every bit a normal 3 year old. However, her crutches give her away to society. In a church function one of the well meaning teachers was putting together a march. She decided to have the other children march in a circle around her. It was a nice idea, but completely wrong. She was capable of marching and doing everything else the kids could do. However, her crutches sparked a well meaning intention to keep her involved but make it easier for her. My daughter was clearly unhappy with this. She was set aside, made different, and this bothered her. To say that society doesn’t do this is to live in ignorance. So this man decided to live in a world where he could virtually do things he could not in real life, and in a world where no one knew anything about his real world physical condition. Is this wrong? I don’t think it is wrong for him. He is happy in that world. I do think it is a pretty powerful statement as to how screwed up the rest of the real world really is. This person already has a lot to overcome to live in a normal and find happiness. The people who don’t have these physical challenges that get lost in virtual reality to escape life are the ones who need real help.
However, there is a line between people who are passionate about their hobby and those who choose to escape reality. Too many people look to gamers of any stripe in a sad lens where they see pathetic losers who want to pretend to be elves and fight orcs. The problem is that they aren’t looking in the mirror very much. The reality of a game world, one where the participants and players are actively engaged, socializing, and working to enhance the experience together is no more pathetic then the group of people who get together to watch sporting events. Look at it this way, is the reality of my elf questing with your dwarf to kill an orc any more real than the football team you watch? Not really. You are not playing the football game. You normally don’t have any real relation with the people playing the game. You may know about them, but you don’t know them. They are characters on a screen, or field, playing a game for you to watch and be entertained. The players playing the football game are really playing a game. However, the game has no affect on reality. They do not affect global policy. They do not have anything more than a passing affect on the global economic markets (and no more than any MMO for that matter). They don’t affect the real world. It is a fantasy itself and no more real than any movie or tv show by virtue of it having real players, no more than a social game, rpg, WoW, or playing an online shooter with 15 other players in simulated wars. The same goes for people who can’t seem to miss the latest celebrity gossip, go to the bar to drink with friends, tool around with your custom car. These are all hobbies with no more real world merit than any other hobby. They contribute only to the enjoyment of your life and so are no more or less silly or pathetic than any other.
And, just like any other hobby, if it gets in the way of things that are important, like work, family, etc. then there is a problem. They guy that spends his money on a new part for his car but skimps on the food bill or does not pay his child support just as pathetic and broken as the guy that uses his vacation time to level grind a new expansion pack. Spending an entire Sunday watching the Super Bowl is no more stupid than wasting it on a 10 hour game session of any table top game. These are just the methods of entertainment we choose. I have personally run the gambit. I was a skater for about 5 years (even got invited to skate some Warped Tour events here in Florida), then I got into Jazz and night clubs, womanizing, video games, rpgs, CCGs. Now I have a family and my life revolves around that. Gaming is secondary to me, but it is no less a part of my life than skating was, or going to see a local punk band play downtown. I don’t get to do it as often, but that is how I spend my time now. Gamers may have met a past incarnation of myself and thought my hobby was stupid. I, at one point, thought gaming was silly. Its all a matter of perspective and personal choice.
Today, I am a family man, a writer, and a gamer. Two of those things will never change, but one, is my choice. I wave my geek flag proudly. I did not watch the Super Bowl, but I am looking forward to my friends adaptation of Silent Hill in about two weeks that we will be playing with Modern Sagas rules.
To end that subject, and to drive the point home, there is a man who became lost in gaming, became overweight, lost his job, etc. He gave up gamine, worked out (his goal was to get to 200), and got his life back in order. Now he wants to get to 180 lbs and seems obsessed with physical activity. While his new obsession is definitely more healthy and hygienically valid, it is still no less of an obsession. The guy still has some obsessive tendencies that he needs to address. Sooner or later a new drug will take gaming or exercise’s place. Either way, he is still virtually alone in the world as he doesn’t mention anything about being with friends.
One last point: if you want to avoid the negative aspects of being a gamer you must do some things with your life. 1. Shower daily. 2.Socially meet with friends in an environment that has nothing to do with your hobby. 3. Find something important to focus your life around and then keep your hobby a good distance in second or third place. The funny thing is, you probably won’t be forced into less time with your hobby. However, you may choose to do it less because life is just as much fun when dice aren’t being rolled.
Until Next Time: Happy Gaming!
